Monetarily speaking, my Master’s degree didn’t really cost so much since I earned almost a free ride with academic scholarships. But I had to pay in so many other ways. And I paid.
First and foremost is the physical toll. Of course stress works wonders, but so does sitting bent over books in hard plastic chairs for hours and hours. I am now undergoing hours and hours of yoga to straighten my neck back out. For a while I thought that I had hindered my eyesight because after reading microfilm for days, I lost the ability to focus on things far away.
Speaking of stress, did you know consistent heightened stress lowers your immune system’s effectiveness at combating illness? I promptly got sick a few days before due dates and finals week every single semester. And then there was the semester I had the flu twice (nearly literally dying) when I dragged myself in pj’s, with blanket and tissue box, to class every night. Thanks to the swine flu, most classes now make allowances for sick days.
Aside from regular illness, stress also has odd effects on the body. I developed skin rashes, as did several of my classmates. My favorite was the tension headaches, which would leave me completely blind or without peripheral vision for hours.
Like sleep? Then turn the heat on the fry grease because college is not for you. At times, sleep deprivation reaches a point where some people wonder if you’re drunk, while your professors admire your work. I also discovered I can stay up exactly three day before passing out.
Think being a student isn’t a dangerous occupation? Sure, it’s not like being a police officer (unless you went to Virginia Tech a few years ago) but driving while sleep deprived gets pretty extreme. There’s also walking across campus dodging those riding bikes while reading and holding onto their Starbucks addiction. And oh the infected papercuts.
It is during graduate school that I truly discovered who my real friends were…fellow sick and injured students. Any existence of a social life disappears with the first class. Those who don’t attend school usually only last a month before they accuse you of ignoring them and cut contact. That’s okay-they weren’t able to keep up with your conversations anymore. Social time becomes the five seconds of conversation before and after class. Or the silence of five people studying at the same table. Facebook becomes the only way friends and family know you’re still alive. Yay human contact. But only will another student be able to walk in a room where someone is screaming and pulling their hair out and know nothing is wrong-there’s just a due date. One also becomes a hermit, telling other people they are dead until a certain due date. Or, I don’t exist unless there’s a fire, and it’s getting close but I still have time to grab my research.
So then comes the time you pass your finals and you have your degree. Time for a happy dance. Think your hard times and sacrifice is over? Think again.
Once you go out into the world, looking for that dream job, you find that there are no jobs. As the Ramen reserves run low, you then get desperate and look for any job. Proud as can be, you list “Master of Arts” at the top of your resume. And hear the should-be-illegal-phrase “you’re overqualified.” Jobs don’t want you because they think you want to take over or will want higher pay. I wish someone would tell those managers that educated people need to eat too. So, to survive, you leave off that degree you worked so hard for. Now you have a job you hate while you search for something better. (Welcome to Walmart, get your shit and get out).
Now that you’re done with the thesis, classes, and late night writing, time for a social life! Even that will be different. Most of your fellow classmates will either be in school and too busy or will have moved away. Try speaking to non-school people now. Your well polished articulation will have them staring at you like you have lobsters crawling out of your ears.
And as for dating, forget it. If you’re male, you instantly become a magnet for lazy directionless women looking for someone to support them and their many kids. If you’re female, mark your towels “Hers” and “Hers.” If single, try going on a date. Everything goes fine until he hears keywords, like college, education, Masters, thesis, etc. Men don’t like intellectual competition, which really narrows the fish in the ocean, unless you’re into lame sea cucumbers.
Speaking of lame sea cucumbers, if you were in a relationship during school, it will change too. The man that once made you hot chocolate during homework and bragged about your achievements will feel threatened. His friends will ridicule him for being the “lesser.” And he will change. All that time killing yourself to get through school quickly to be together and he’ll repay you by abandoning you the first second after graduation.
Oh the price of education. So why do we go to college and make these sacrifices? It makes us better people and helps bring an end to the mass hordes of “stupid Americans.” It gives us better jobs and a higher sense of purpose. There are many benefits from financial to cultural. Life lessons learned during this time are often the best and most important lessons of our lives. It’s the time you make your own choices and take charge of your own life. And besides, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Thank you.
