I always smile at websites or magazines that offer dating advice because I always believe they are commonsense issues that surely every adult person knows. Apparently not. So here is Tabby’s list of dating blunders.
1. Overly possessive.
Ok, it’s cute that you are excited to be with us but we are not property. You can’t brand us like cattle. If we are with you, we obviously want to be. There’s no need to call every five minutes, leave ten messages, and resort to extreme PDA and chest pounding in public. In simple terms: creepy, possessive, smothering, and jealousy bad!!
2. Oooh, you’re so scary
I get it, muscles and testosterone. There’s no need to start unnecessary fights, puff your chest out and walk with a swagger. It just makes me think of a gorilla. And am I attracted to gorillas? No.
3. No follow through
This one is very simple. When you say you’re going to do something, do it. This is one of the most common mistakes.
4. Expecting her to act like your mother
Some people are just nurturing creatures. Many will take advantage of that kindness, especially with cohabitation. I am not a mommy replacement so make your own damn sandwich.
5. Friends dictate your life
Your bros, wingmen, buddies, etc are important to you. I get it. But do they need to run your life? They are not relationship experts and most of them probably have never had one. Make your own decisions like you have a brain.
6. The threat of success
The best way to test a man’s commitment isn’t to gauge his reaction during a traumatic event. Check his reaction in the face of success. Anyone can deliver ice cream and make French fries, but many men feel threatened by his girlfriend’s success. Just because you’re a loser doesn’t mean I have to be.
7. Hypocritical standards
Adhere to your standards. What is okay for you should be okay for the other person. And remember what standards you set, because I will.
8. Not having your own life
Scientifically speaking, in the first six months of dating, dopamine and serotonin levels peak, creating a form of obsession with your significant other. Once you transition out of this phase, you feel attached to your partner deeply, but often begin pursuing interests that have fallen by the wayside. Just don't forget the step where you start persuing those other interests. Nobody likes a needy person or needs seran wrap.
14. Constantly bringing up the ex-factor
Talking about an ex a lot, regardless if positive or negative, sends the message the person is not over him/her. And unless you are looking to start WWIII, bringing up an ex in an argument as ammo is a very bad idea.
15. Treating others poorly
When dating, being rude to another person is a huge red flag. It isn’t impressive; I just think you’re a narcissistic psycho.
16. Inflated ego: Superman complex
While Superman may seem impressive, you are not him. When bragging about a big game or conquest, I wonder what he’s compensating for. When men get it into their heads they are an all important king, I get the strongest urge to prove otherwise.
17. Talk to me, not at me
When speaking, have a conversation. Don’t verbally kidnap the other person. They are an intelligent person and can understand verbal communication. Don’t talk to me like I’m five.
Lastly, stop enabling! They do this because we put up with it! If they couldn’t get a date, maybe, just maybe, that would make them question themselves.
Thank you.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
The Danger of Education
This first blog serves as an overview of future rants.
When you start college, you are told of the numerous things you will take away from the experience. Greater intelligence, career opportunities, a resulting better lifestyle, and lifelong friends. No one ever mentions the other side effects.
I now find myself less tolerant of uneducated people. And by that, I do not necessarily mean people who did not go to college, although that tends to be the pattern. I mean those people who are unintelligent and have no desire to change that status. Those who believe everything they are told, whether it is from another uninformed person, or a common source of our society’s ignorance: local news, extremist groups, “Christian” missions, or the military. Offended yet? Keep reading.
The more education a person gets, the more difficult dating becomes. As a female, being intelligent instantly makes me less attractive. Although it is really fun to use multiple syllable words with an idiot to see if they pretend to know what’s going on or if they just look confused. Educated men are also instantly targeted by every surrounding woman who needs a baby daddy or someone to further their life dream of not working and watching daytime soaps.
Finding a job becomes more difficult. While in high school or during college, we work the worst jobs in fast food and retail, which are easy to obtain. After gaining an education, with the excitement that we will no longer be working late nights with vats of grease or biting animals, we find unemployment a lifestyle in hearing the dreaded phrase “you’re overqualified.”
After college, one realizes how the social life has suffered. You lost contact with high school friends after the majority of them hate you for never being around due to this unknown world of classes, tests, and responsibility. After college, you find these friends are on their sixth kid and on welfare or working a dead-end job.
I am not advocating for people not to go to college. I believe it should almost be a requirement. College serves as the catalyst for life changes for many people. Most, like me, may not be aware of these changes.
Thank you.
When you start college, you are told of the numerous things you will take away from the experience. Greater intelligence, career opportunities, a resulting better lifestyle, and lifelong friends. No one ever mentions the other side effects.
I now find myself less tolerant of uneducated people. And by that, I do not necessarily mean people who did not go to college, although that tends to be the pattern. I mean those people who are unintelligent and have no desire to change that status. Those who believe everything they are told, whether it is from another uninformed person, or a common source of our society’s ignorance: local news, extremist groups, “Christian” missions, or the military. Offended yet? Keep reading.
The more education a person gets, the more difficult dating becomes. As a female, being intelligent instantly makes me less attractive. Although it is really fun to use multiple syllable words with an idiot to see if they pretend to know what’s going on or if they just look confused. Educated men are also instantly targeted by every surrounding woman who needs a baby daddy or someone to further their life dream of not working and watching daytime soaps.
Finding a job becomes more difficult. While in high school or during college, we work the worst jobs in fast food and retail, which are easy to obtain. After gaining an education, with the excitement that we will no longer be working late nights with vats of grease or biting animals, we find unemployment a lifestyle in hearing the dreaded phrase “you’re overqualified.”
After college, one realizes how the social life has suffered. You lost contact with high school friends after the majority of them hate you for never being around due to this unknown world of classes, tests, and responsibility. After college, you find these friends are on their sixth kid and on welfare or working a dead-end job.
I am not advocating for people not to go to college. I believe it should almost be a requirement. College serves as the catalyst for life changes for many people. Most, like me, may not be aware of these changes.
Thank you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)